De Profundis

Once again,

The whisper of wind,

And no restraint!

Indomitable strain upon

A seasoned babe,

Imitation is a fool’s game,

I’m deranged!

Daughter,

Warn your children not to walk my way,

If not today,

Maybe tomorrow?

I can feel all of my parents

In dreams unspoken,

Pushing,

So subtle the means,

Leaves float in a basin,

See how lightly they tug at my sleeve,

Looking up with eyes wide open,

The river bleeds and bends the same

Red wine.

The bright river,

The river of death,

The river of tar and knowledge,

The river of opportunity. 

It carries all the dead,

It waters all the crops,

I sat down and wept

As it coursed through my being!

An eternity of suffering 

Was leaving!

I sit in the shade and wait,

An arid waste,

All of it,

Such a waste,

I found no options!

Only death!

I cry to you, Son of man,

You do nothing--

I need to be free.

I refused all counsel,

I consumed all grief,

A dark tide swept over me,

I was beset by visions--

Sights and sounds unknown

Crashed around my bed with violence.

I behaved like a beast,

'Drunk down savageness,

Not turned away but fixed my eye,' 

Like a creep

I looked on in delight 

As I fell evermore out of reach.

Ishouldhavebeenapairofraggedclaws

scuttlingacrossfloorsofsilentseas

King of all kings,

Babe of all babes,

Like a lamb I came to slaughter,

Mothers, Fathers,

Look in my face,

Why should I escape?

By what grace?

The wheel that turns the hand

To receive the supplication of a dead land,

Is still the same,

Noname.

x

Drive All Night to Get to You

I am here,

I sit nowhere.

St. James clocks in,

I sit firm in his chair,

I could only imagine

How I appear.

I think,

Fuck

It

A

Lot…

I think,

How I got here,

A door becoming open,

An echo of stilettos upon

The front porch of my endorsement.

Imagine me as Kevin,

I am home alone and I just spilled the chili,

Only these beans are all of my decisions leading up to this moment:

Curtains close.

That’s it,

That’s all I know,

I tend to drift,

Like a car on snow.

Like my love to her kiss,

Like heat from a coal,

Where ever love is

I tend to go.

Twin Ravens

No need to straiten,
I've been dire for months,
Dining and dying
On bile and blood.
Fusobacteria
For a feast no one eats,
The ending result
Of an unkindness of kings.
In the eyes of the Truth
There is no art,
Even a lie
Betrays your own heart.
Two sides to the coin,
Two sides to the grave,
How many more sides
Do we need to explain?

I have grown tired
Talking in vain.

Pranayama

Do you ever feel like a skeleton when you breath?

A gymnasium of bones all enclosing around me

If it really encompasses every single thing 

Can I begin to see?

As in,

A hermetic dress,

I’m dumb.

I’m deaf.

I’m numb.

I’m blind.

I’m deaf.

I’m dumb.

Speechless, cupboards boarded on,

Bleachers, watching until it’s gone,

A splash in the pond,

Lochness,

This is my likeness,

Every single thing,

A sophic imprint,

Poetic wane,

The power of the people will never change,

In this I bear witness,

Somethings will always change,

Then who can lay blame?

Will only the blameless be slain?

Bitch, it ain’t Easter,

Ain’t no candy up in that egg, 

It’s more like a fucked up Dali nightmare,

The Orphic Stain,

It remains a fixture,

An entire landscape of suffering and pain,

I mean, what more to witness,

There is no hell, princess,

Other than the one we live in today.

An ember burns in the deepest place,

I must have found my ace.

I miss you dear, the fire stares,

And the theta waves awake.

Rough

Can you know what grows

With each blank and pitiless gaze,

The black hole inside of every sun,

The beast in every cage.

Gg

She welcomed me in with a grin and a hello,

You look like a sin but you’re such a nice fellow,

She spoke in a way that struck me as fallow,

The language I learned as I hung from the gallows.

I spent last night in a basement on the hill,

If the remedy doesn’t kill me, I know that I will,

I have these friends that must keep me alive,

And a poem that wonders, who sees through these eyes?

I can see it one way visibly,
but I know,
there are sides to both sides.
Wrinkled patterns infinitely echo
fine in my mind.
And out there in the contours
and the freckles of your eyes,
a constant strength is flickering,
burning embers so refined.
The darkness in my soul is lost
within your old design;
youth has lost its innocence
before they were yet refined.
Surely some revelation whispering
within the basin of our times,
follow each deception
til there is nothing left to find.

Dollhouse

I used to imagine somebody hanging from the rafters
but that was just the wind in my head.

A head full of grass
to burn this hollow man.

Cause once you're gone
you can never come back,

it's always out of the blue
when it's into the black.

How can they even see me?
Art hanging next to the TV.

Something I dislike
when I am talking to someone
and shortly after they learn I am a writer
they expect me to share in their snobbery
for spelling and grammar.

I don't care if you misspell words (even their/re/y're),
I don't care if you commit a grammatical err,
I am an artist,
I am interested in honest communication;
listening for intent
over being pedantic.

A Shade

master of infamy,
jack of this trade,
even in the sun
a spade is a spade.

Goodbye glass stained past,
I'll set my gaze no more on that.

The Sins That Came Before Us

it's just evidence,
throw it in the case,
it will convince them of the one thing
they never want to say,
i was a child
brought up
in Christ's name.

Sold!!! The Old Road

if this is all I have
at my side,
I still see
one mind
shines
still shows
only the still one knows,
why is nine
the code?

Water

it's a new thing,
this element.

I somewhat see a crocodile
lurking
in the shadows,
in the shallows of my breath,
it's a showdown I knew would come around
eventually,
it always happens
like a snake in the tall grass,
walk on by.

oh, it's nothing,
nothing to go by,
just a barely perceptible light,
the reflection of a reflection,
like men going at it blind,
proper for those who tackle a great dark night.

and duly--
this soul is still tied,
these wings will not fly,
and all that I see,
my feet wrapped in vines.
it's a slippery stair,
one slip and you're there
the darkest of depths
and the crocodile's eyes.

my sister,
what's there?
I hope you brought a light.

To the Top

all these lights
and they're oh so pretty.
there is truth in illusion,
everything is reflected
beyo-o-ond, ayyy, ay,
beyo-o-ond,
all that fuck shit.
lifestyle is art,
art is a lifestyle,
the style is part,
part is experience,
part is innocence,
part is expression,
part is impression,
perfect harmony is the lesson,
what is performance but deception?
all of it is money,
no exception.

delicate, gross

can I show you the world
when all I know are sad songs?
a life I used to love,
a boy I used to know,
delicate and gross,
predispossed to death,
maybe I'm obssessed,
but I have a hunch--
I'm blessed.

New Text Document (2)

endless space
time and blank pages,
yesterday, today, and then

triggering meltdowns
colossal breakdown
callous pen

byou bray one
gl
that's all

new town
no name

now
 trade time

money
 is king

tired all the time
waking

write
time waiting

don't write
wait

pacing
no time is worth this

i'm a patient boy
i wait i wait i wait i wait

and i just went like,
fuck you, you need to get your shit together,

good for you, yeah, blah blah blah whatever
this is all shatter,

nothing really matters,
nothing really matters,

after
all

pop
top dawn

down wind
nip

sip
little bit

bit by bit
tip

pit
top to the

bot, it
get
g
get
it, get

got, or
amore

pizza
poor-ay

meesta
mess

miss
misses

eminate
thrills

still
existence

still point
presence

no
not-it

it-isn't
it's nothing

nothing
is-it

is-not
nothing

i dn't got
git gr8

i'm rye-meme
so dank.

Ten Years

this is a cycle,
the journey of Dante--not a circle,
a spiral!
down and left,
nine reverse,
coffee in the colonnade
with some asshole archduke,
pretentiousness,
slit your wrists,
the poem I write is this,
more or less,
who is it that I am?
the mountains are the best,
after nine is ten,
I only want an exit,
an inscription over a crypt,
cryptic messages from death,
spaceman spiff crossing the Styx,
veiled references:
oil and sweat,
the river's bed,
I'm waiting for your kiss,
O
sweet death,
Burning as a witch,
burning as the pitch,
all black for images
etch a fucking sketch,
and drink from Lethe,
dig the ell-square pitken
as Tiresias said,
offer a promise
and follow through with it,
maybe you can spiral home again,
the rocky bed of Ithika
or
Bethlehem.

(thank me before it's all over,
before the suitors are dead,
and before Beatrice blesses our heads)