appeal, appaling (hell is mellow, pell mell fellow)

popeye's chicken in Dixon
the alleyway behind safeway
the late night county line drive
with the green lights dripping
from the dash, lie in the
bed of the truck on your back
feel stuck but stars shine
I feel fucked in the front yard,
helpless I am, I look
back, I stare at the screen's
guise.  Newborns in hell,
no innocence, I am the definition
of what 'different' is, traffic
on I-80, Fairfield to Davis, fucking
crazy, lately why I'm late
no-names but oxy-80's
don't stop the pain, her brain
is batter, pancakes served
on a platter, the silver lined
eyes read 'life's good' but that
is the biggest lie, keeping
in line with the Jonesin while
hiding getting high, pretty
little thing all dressed in white.


May 2014 Corvallis, OR

Six a.m.

Six a.m. and I still can't sleep,
I'm wide awake.

Sometimes I pray,
Waiting, waiting for a brighter day,

Then I think back what I've done,
And I'm right back

Right back where I'm from,
Between a rock and the sun.

Masks of the Illuminati

In all and all's well,
If only one.

Paraffin sails,
Let me be free.

Endless suffering,
W.B.

The mask
Of the man.

I feel sick
Eternally,

The coven
Of the clown

4 cold scowls
Turned over,

The mask
Of the mother.

Eventually,
I will lust,

They say
I got lost,

This one-ton
Whirlwind

Of meaning,
Lost--

Dérèglement des sens et des mot
Wat?

Lust after everything,
Sustenance after thought.

Each end famous,
Each and every name,

I was fresh,
Involved with a clean face,

Sleeves pushed up, chest pumped out,
Puppy-clout.

I was empty,
Traveling around a spool of conditioning.

An un-holy craving, tightening round and round,
I was one with the sound.

Other than all the distraction,
The potted flowers placed along my hallway,

Hark--apparently appearances deceive.
Am I the alder snake

Hiding in the tall grass,
Am I the rose entrusted in a glass case?

Consummate devil in the page,  erase,
Don't look at me.

The one thing I will not say,
Something I will mull long after today,

Descry the sight of the sky turned grey,
Ayin.

Nothing more to say.